


kiss my lips, feel the rhythm of my heart and hips

by localopa



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Gay Chicken, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Party Games, Public Sex, i say party very loosely, i should’ve thought that through, i use my friends as characters, implied sex, liveshow, my first fic post alcoholism fic proudly displays alcohol, theres no party it’s just them, yall this fic is wild, younow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 15:15:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localopa/pseuds/localopa
Summary: dan and phil play gay chicken because that’s what “straight” people do.





	kiss my lips, feel the rhythm of my heart and hips

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly don’t know where i got this idea from, but it happened. i’ve been having writer’s block on one fic i’m really excited about and i started working on this one. thanks to rachel, jess, and lexi for letting me steal your likeness without your consent. title is from guillotine by jon bellion. enjoy.
> 
> xx oliver

if you ask them, they’ll blame the other for the party game.

 

is it a party game if it’s just the two of them getting drunk in their flat? with no other friends? well, it originates from being a party game, and  _ technically _ restaurants call for party of 2, so yes. they’re at a party (of 2 people) playing a party game.

 

in reality, they decided to play the buzzfeed unsolved drinking game and anyone who’s familiar with the series knows how fucking trashed you can get from that game.

 

dan is taking up most of the couch, stretching his body so that phil cannot sit on it. because friends are great. however, phil apparently doesn’t care enough to put up a good enough fight, taking to hitting dan with a pillow and moan about how he’s “the worst friend in eng-  _ no  _ the WORLD.”

 

to those who don’t know, they’re drunk off their asses.

 

youtube’s autoplay turned from spooky, scary skeletons and real life crimes to weird eurovision songs from 10 years ago. not that they’ve noticed, they’re too caught up in each other but when aren’t they? dan is holding a hand up to block the pillow and phil’s giggling way too loud for a sober person, enjoying each other’s company though they’re already around each other 24/7.

 

eventually, dan rolls off the couch and on top of phil, alcoholic hazes prohibiting them from feeling pain. it only makes them laugh harder, pain is hilarious when you’re intoxicated. anything’s hilarious when your mind isn’t fully there. neither move for quite a while, their laughter dies into half hearted chuckles and then into silence, verka serduchka’s  _ dancing lasha tumbai _ playing with all of its weird, probably lesbian goodness. 

 

the song eventually ends, there’s not a song to follow it so they’re stuck in silence. phil’s staring at him, like he has an idea. the glimmer in his glassy stare, the rise and fall of his chest, there’s something enticing about it and dan feels drawn towards him in a way that he wouldn’t feel sober. he pushes himself up enough to sit back on phil’s hips, brushing his fringe off his forehead. 

 

“we should film a video,” are the first words out of dan’s mouth. “right now, we should do it.”

 

phil laughs, covering his mouth. it dies when he sees that dan is serious. “what would we even film?”

 

it’s dan’s turn to giggle. “one of those party games!”

 

the best part about getting drunk with your best friend/business partner/straight compatriot is that you don’t need to convince them that their idea is just  _ the best _ ,  _ dan you should get a fu-hick-ing nobel prize. _ they’re too not sober to find their actual camera, but dan has his phone and they can make some kind of stand for it, so they go with that. they clear out the liquor bottles, they want to at least be monetized, right? the video turns into a liveshow, because  _ editing, dan. videos neeeeeeed editing _ . and sober them can’t be bothered with editing, not like it’s their fucking careers or anything. 

 

they get the laptop, somehow manage to tweet a coherent message saying they’re going  _ l1vEEEEEEE !!!!!!!  _ and now they’re live to thousands of people. phil stumbles over greeting people, dan tries to interrupt him so they can get on with it, and the fans are confused. they keep saying they’re doing party games, specifically gay chicken, because, you know, straight people, and is this even allowed on younow?

 

neither know how to start, the camera capturing their silent “ _ you fucking go!”  _ “ _ if you’re so into this, you fucking start!”  _ it’s weird, because they never discussed the game they were going to play, phil just googled it and saw gay and went for it. bickering through their minds, trying to get the other to just give in and start.

 

it’s just kissing, people do it all the time.

 

phil gets tired of waiting, grabs dan’s collar - ignoring dan’s yelling about how expensive it is - and just smashes their lips together. 

 

dan is still protesting about his shirt that he doesn’t register lips being on his own, once he does, he calms down. one hand goes up to cup phil’s jaw, the other reaching and taking a fistful of his shirt. they’ve never done this, not even when dan had the most obvious crush on phil, and all he can wonder is  _ why _ they haven’t until now.

 

the comments are exploding, to say the least. most people who are just tuning in are fucking blown away with the fact these men, these two people who they’ve been shipping together since god knows when, are  _ willingly  _ putting content out like this. most are trying to figure out how they weren’t so sinful for god to bless them with this homosexual stream. one person, probably more honestly, are jerking off to this free porn. 

 

(at least one person has discovered they’re gay and they can thank dan and phil.)

 

it’s dan that makes the “first move,” his tongue swiping along phil’s bottom lip, eliciting a soft moan from him. his hands make their way up to phil’s hair, digging his nails into the other’s scalp. phil manages to push dan to the floor, slotting his thigh between his legs. this causes dan to grind into it, because of course they got horny. 

 

they’re kind of out of frame, the fans can only see phil’s back and dan’s fingers. the majority of the fans at this point are in their late teens, maybe 16 and older, so really, they know what sex is. a lot of them have even read the fics. so many people have imagined and reimagined how these two would fuck for years. 

 

however, there’s a difference between reading it and “seeing” it. 

 

phil moves his mouth to dan’s neck, dan making pathetic whines and whimpers. he’s so hard it’s not even funny, dan is pressing against his thigh, grinding down against it to just get some friction. dan’s hands run down phil’s back, scratching and clawing over the shirt.

 

it doesn’t take long after this for phil to rip his shirt off.

 

a lot of the fans that had been watching have left now, the weekly show turning into something not advertiser friendly real quick. some brave souls have decided to stay, waiting for this to turn into some joke that the phandom can laugh at. even if they all assume they’re together, society with its heteronormativity deems them both straight boys. but straight boys is quickly turning into the porn channel str8=====D bois. 

 

**lilacskylester: ...should we be watching this?**

 

**shinehxwell: i honestly feel a little uncomfortable watching this**

 

**botanistlester: i think it’s kind of hot. free porn.**

 

**shibehxwell: jfc rachel get out**

 

both of their phones start going off, calls from frantic friends telling them, dear god, YOU’RE DOING A PORN STREAM ON A FAMILY SAFE WEBSITE. there’s only about 100 people in the room now, waiting for the prank to be over. dan’s moans are permanently stuck in their heads. a good handful are more in shock on how accurate they were when writing smut. another group lost bets. 

 

**botanistlester: TAKE IT OFF!!!!!!**

 

**shibehxwell: i regret our friendship**

 

eventually, phil pulls away from dan’s neck, sitting back on his hips. both of their chests are heaving, dan’s littered in large purple bruises. he doesn’t remember his shirt ever coming off. they’re staring at each other, eyes blown out in lust and alcohol. it seems that even they have forgotten that they were live, not to thousands of fans but still live nonetheless.

 

the viewers hold their breath as phil turns his head towards the camera, squinting at the laptop to see what it was. he doesn’t physically react, no disgust or embarrassment readable on his expression. he just calmly pulls dan up, tells him to go to the bedroom, and closes the lid shut, plunging their fans into a dark screen.

 

-

 

it’s too early and his phone keeps going off in their living room. dan ignores the fact he’s naked except for boxers, his hangover takes center stage over the more important information of phil also being naked in his bed, his ass hurting, and dried cum on his chest. he doesn’t want to get out of bed, but the only way he can get his phone to shut up is to turn it off so he ventures into the living room to find the offending technology.

 

there’s a trail of both his and phil’s clothes down the hall, mismatched socks and joggers every couple feet. he ignores these, tunnel visioned into wanting to turn the stupid device off and go back to the warmth of his bed. eventually, he stumbles into the couch, finding his phone and going to turn it off when he sees a multitude of notifications.

 

_ weird _ , he thinks, pushing himself back up.  _ usually i’m not that popular.  _

 

while he’s there, he grabs phil’s phone too, because he’s a nice ass friend, and he finds that the phone is also blowing up with texts and missed calls. neither of them are this popular in the morning, or ever. this is where he starts to get concerned.

 

he swipes open a message from cornelia, finding a link to a twitter moments story about… him and phil making out of younow?

 

_ dan: this isn’t real, is it? _

 

_ cornelia: oh, but it is. don’t you remember? _

 

no, dan doesn’t remember. the only thing dan remembers is having a drinking party with phil last night. 

 

oh.

 

oh shit.

 

they didn’t?

 

_ dan: all me and phil did last night was drink tho _

 

_ cornelia: oh, trust me. you guys did way more than drink _

 

_ cornelia: m says your store sales are through the roof though. i don’t know why. you guys practically had sex on camera. _

 

dan goes against himself and checks the phan tag on tumblr. 

 

**pseduophan**

**well, that’s one way to come out.**

 

**_anonymous asked: why do you keep calling the liveshow last night free porn? i woke up and everyone is in shambles_ **

**botanistlester**

**well because it pretty much was. they did everything but get each other’s dicks out. i like this 2018 dan and phil. now my fics can be even more accurate.**

 

fuck. they really did have sex on camera. he turns to twitter, looking through his mentions. maybe the fans are just pulling their legs. maybe they didn’t practically fuck on camera. 

 

**??? ollie** **_@localopa_ **

**@AmazingPhil @DanielHowell my brother found out he was gay because of your liveshow last night. cheers lads**

 

“PHIL!”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @astronomerhxwell


End file.
